


happy not knowing (where this goes)

by aberfaeth



Series: i don't gamble (but if i did, i would bet on us) [1]
Category: Hinatazaka46 (Band)
Genre: F/F, Implied Sexual Content, are the children asleep, no pain just fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:06:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26406202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aberfaeth/pseuds/aberfaeth
Summary: in a world full of lies, kumi knows only two things to be true. here are the facts:1). the best place to be is below ayaka2). ayaka would rather be above someone else
Relationships: Sasaki Kumi/Takamoto Ayaka
Series: i don't gamble (but if i did, i would bet on us) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919245
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	happy not knowing (where this goes)

**Author's Note:**

> picture a venn diagram of ayakaphasers and kumi supremacists. it's me in the middle column.

they're friends, as far as everyone else is concerned. to the both of them, though, it's quite different.

if kumi was allowed the pleasure of blaming someone for the current state of her well being, she would say that this is entirely kyoko's fault.

it starts with a confession from ayaka. 

no one would be surprised to wake up with 18 texts from her at 6 in the morning, which entailed a nine-point presentation/walkthrough of the plan of action regarding her two-year long unrequited love towards a certain member. everyone left her on read, but ever supportive captain sasaki kumi felt the obligation to reply: _good luck! <3 if this goes terribly we're still gonna be using one practice room so if you don't want rehearsals to be awkward, seal the deal and go get your girl._

it is replied by a curt _tnx (kissy face emoji)_ and an invitation to be her back up in case she forgets her script. 

(kumi receives a text file soon after.) 

that affair ended quite prematurely—kyoko bursting with laughter on the spot and "you're joking, right?", followed by incoherent mumbling from ayaka that sounded a lot like incantations, perhaps cursing a world that allowed someone as chaddy as kyoko to be exclusively attracted to men. kumi, after she watched this entire thing unfold behind a convenience store dumpster, volunteers her shoulder, and apartment for ayaka to cry into. 

she doesn't remember when ayaka had the time to buy alcohol in the mere seconds it took kumi to start her car but two bottles of wine is set on her kitchen counter the moment they arrive, and another one already in ayaka's mouth as she tries taking the cork out with her teeth.

"slow down, geez. i have a corkscrew." 

"what's a corkscrew,"

"are you drunk already somehow?"

ayaka spends the next two hours droning on and on and on about kyoko, and how her hair smells and hundreds of things kumi never noticed until ayaka pointed it out. being in love is like having literal tunnel vision, kumi reckons, _thank god i'm not a sucker._

five glasses in and a lot of things start to blur, and kumi may not believe in romantic love but god, does she appreciate the female form. ayaka's skirt has ridden up to a length treacherous for kumi's sanity, and she'd be the first one to admit that she is a sucker for thighs.

kumi thanks her impulsive shopping for this meter long couch that granted them the gap between their seats. close proximity with ayaka's red, ample lips would rent her mind asunder. she shakes her head and starts imagining a cold shower.

"god, what good is it to be gay if i can't date a group member?" 

"you can have your pictures taken in public without having to shave your head, for starters."

"say, didn't you date girls in college?"

"i did, but i don't like the way you're connecting your two questions together."

something shifts in the air. ayaka sets her drink down, somewhere in this room probably, but kumi couldn't be bothered about some plastic cup she bought at a ¥100 store. the meter gap that she worshipped is now significantly shorter, and it's getting more dangerous and difficult to even breathe at the sight of milky white thighs.

(kumi remembers ayaka wore this very red and very short skirt for kyoko and her lungs fill with air.) 

"hey, kumi." voice low and entrancing, and the alcohol in her bloodstream won't let her stop staring at ayaka's lips.

(if ayaka was looking at her eyes, she would've noticed it by now.)

"hm."

"are you.. seeing anyone," 

"no."

the meter gap is nonexistent as ayaka tucks a strand of kumi's hair behind her ear, hand staying on her cheek and kumi finds the cold palm against her face to be exactly what she needed after three bottles of wine. eyes still locked on the other girl's lips, kumi reads it before she hears it; in the softest voice possible, ayaka whispers, "can i?"

there is a line, and kumi crosses it. _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._ her mind is reeling from the alcohol and the slight whimper ayaka lets out when their lips meet is absolutely no help in calming it down. the way ayaka responds is feral in nature, almost desperate even, and kumi feels the cushion of the sofa against her back in a matter of seconds. 

fabrics get discarded and left forgotten on the floor, ayaka's deadly skirt included. and as those lips travel their way down from kumi's jaw to unknown territory, with cold air brushing harshly against her bare skin, she wonders if this is part of a captain's job description, or a violation in some kind of an obscure bro code.

//

it's been going on for a month. 

once, a hand pulls kumi away after a dance practice, before she's shoved into a storage room, and "do you know how you look when you're covered in sweat?"

"gross, probably."

"not at all."

there's a tongue in kumi's mouth that isn't hers as she's trying to come up with a single valid reason in her head to be on the opposition side of this arrangement. this could be good for ayaka, having a distraction from all the kyoko mess. and who better to help her than the captain? this is good. this is fun. kumi can finally end the dry spell she's been having, and ayaka can forget she wrote wedding vows for a girl who can't love her back.

this is good. this is fun. kumi doesn't fall in love, but if she did, it certainly wouldn't be with someone who texts her at two in the morning because she reread old messages from kyoko, and then leaves kumi's apartment right after she gives her ~~love~~ marks on places she can't cover. 

//

the sun wasn’t up when kumi feels a body roll out of the bed. she waits for the dip of the mattress to subside before turning over, quick enough that she could still smell ayaka's shampoo from where her head used to lay. "you're awake," she hears a voice say. kumi stays mum and stares at the clock on the bedside table as a hand ruffles through the sheets, as if fishing for clothes, “i need to go home."

kumi's eyes follow the outline of the other girl's body, albeit just her silhouette. the moonlight shining through the bedroom window is doing a great job in highlighting ayaka's assets, and staring at the barrel of her own demise, kumi's lizard brain still finds the time to drink in the view. 

“it’s 3am,” kumi says as she’s sitting up, not bothering to cover her bare torso, “stay. i’ll cook you breakfast.”

“that doesn’t sound as enticing as you think,” ayaka replies, lazily draping a shirt on before tying her hair up in a bun. “go back to sleep,”

_i haven’t slept a wink at all_ , kumi wants to say.

she nods instead—despite knowing ayaka couldn’t see it—and lays back down. kumi slings her forearm over her eyes and tries to ignore the light from the living room enter when ayaka opens the door to leave. kumi hears it close, and then it clicks. the sound of the door closing is almost inaudible, but it echoes in kumi's ears.

_i should be used to this by now_ , she thinks, but her heart still clenches.

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by higedan's rowan and the recurring thought of top!ayaka. first of many hinata oneshots aka the dumping ground of my Feelings on which member im currently obsessed with.


End file.
